What was supposed to be a relaxing and happy holiday in Europe ended up as a miserable experience of receiving the news that she passed away on a gloomy Thursday morning. She was someone whom I could never communicate with/to, having language barriers. Yet, she was someone who had great importance in my life - greater than most, and I, would imagine.
I was starting to get to know the world; she was starting to forget bits and pieces of the world.
I was struggling to form coherent sentences; she was struggling to still form coherent sentences.
I was at the start of my race; she was nearing the end.
I was growing up; she was growing old.
Through her, I see the end.
She was the reason my father and his seven siblings can gather in the first place, and she was also the reason of the rare, complete attendance of all seven siblings, who hailed from different countries and continents - not to mention the grandchildren and grand-grandchildren. She was the reason her children still occasionally meet up despite conflicts that would otherwise set them apart. She might be close to losing her senses, she might be senile, but she was leader of the family, as none other than the leader of the pack can bring the pack together.
Heregoes another spiral towards darkness, I lost my bearings in this lifeless world.
It's a world with too much suffering, too much pain, and too much regrets.
It's a world with meaningless rewards towards pointless endeavors.
Because, really, when you start forgetting who you are and who you love when you start hearing the sound of the bells from afterlife, what stays?
您可能看不懂也听不懂我说什么，但是我这一份思念和不舍是专属留给您的。至少，您离开了缠身的疾病，累人的勾心斗角，伤心的世界。无法抚平的心情和泪腺之中还是参杂了为您感到心安的平静。安心上路吧婆婆
